Tuesday, March 8, 2022

First-Generation Ph.D.

Very few folks (less than 3% of college graduates) choose to go on to a doctoral program. Most jobs don't require a philosophical doctorate (Ph.D.), but for those who want the jobs that do, the pursuit of that degree may be even more difficult if you are the first generation of your family to try it. When you're "first-gen" anything there are even fewer people you know well who can tell you the practical outs and ins of getting it done. Professors and other mentors are all very helpful, especially in helping you figure out where to apply and how to get in, but they will likely forget to tell you a few practical things about actually going to grad school to earn a Ph.D. I've been there, and while I did make it blindly, I'd like to share a few things I learned so that you can make new and different (and hopefully more exciting) mistakes.
Things I wish I knew when I started my doctorate...

  1. Most Ph.D. programs waive your tuition. You only have to pay for university services and fees (and living and eating). My father earned a DVM, and like a medical student, he had to pay for everything, including tuition, so I assumed I would have to do so too. I turned down some perfectly good programs that accepted me on my first try at a Ph.D. program because I did not know this and thought I'd have to come up with the tuition fees they charged college students. This was an INSANE mistake...the programs that I had applied to had less than a 1% acceptance rate, and it took me three years and three attempts to get into the program at UH (a great program that I knew I could afford). I could have gone to a great school the first time!
  2. Most Ph.D. programs offer you a paying job as a research or teaching assistant. The pay isn't great, but it is typically enough for you to buy basic groceries and live frugally in an apartment with roommates. I worked several part-time jobs and as many full-time summer hours as possible as an undergraduate to save money up, thinking that I would not be able to spare the time to earn any. Admittedly, having savings did allow me to stress less in school about making ends meet (and even buy a new car). However, in retrospect, I wish I'd worked one less part-time job or taken an extra week or two in the summer to hang out with family.
  3. Most universities do offer housing (at good discounts) and/ or help finding roommates, but unlike in college, you have to ask around for it. No one is going to call you or email you and ask you if you would like to know your housing options. No helpful administrator called like they did in college, so I thought there were no housing options for grad students. As a "first-gen" you've likely learned that you have to figure things out for yourself, but you're also more likely to just get things done yourself... it has worked every time so far, right? That mentality is probably part of what got you to grad school, but it will keep you from succeeding in grad school if you don't modify it. There are resources, but they are probably buried in the complexity of bureaucratic departments. You may have to call 16 people and look at 57 web pages four different times to find them, and since you are first-gen, you will need to ask your new classmates...before you get to school (which brings me to #4).
  4. Most Ph.D. programs will help you connect with your classmates before you start school if you offer your own contact information and ask the department to share it with your classmates. You can also ask to talk to several students already in the program, some you may have already talked to about how best to get into the program. Now you need to talk to your future classmates about how to live in the area, commute to class, connect to people quickly, find resources on campus, and what expenses surprised them (e.g. there is a fee to apply for graduation! and you have to rent your robes!). I did all this connecting to classmates after I started, in my first year, and while it worked out great still (your classmates will be the most amazing part of your experience)...it could have been so much better if I'd started sharing two to three months before the first day of class. I would have enjoyed a much stronger social support network from the very start.
  5. You'll be in a hurry to "make good" and "get out" so that you can really make a living. First-gens don't go to grad school to avoid work (although anyone who does so is sadly misinformed about how much torturous work grad school really is). We go to school to hurry up and start using our knowledge to kick ass. I tried to go as slow as I could because I wanted to learn everything. I did take the four internships and earn the two extra certifications, but I had a much harder time than necessary savoring the learning. I didn't take into account how much my earnings would exponentially snowball after graduation because I did those extra things...all I knew is that I wasn't making as much money as my friends who didn't go to grad school and they'd been earning that every year I was stuck in school. I felt like I would never catch up. I did though. A year after graduation I was making double what most of my friends who didn't earn a doctorate made (and I didn't have the debt most MDs, DVMs, and JDs have). Within a decade, those earnings tripled, and now there are 10 job openings for every Ph.D. in my field and lots of jobs that don't require a Ph.D. still prefer candidates who have one. I wish that I had worried less about my degree being practical or fiscally worthwhile. Honestly, even if I'd never caught up with my peers after grad school, the Ph.D. has been worthwhile because it opened doors to amazing working experiences and colleagues that I would never have accessed without it. The degree wasn't sufficient to get everything, but it was a golden ticket to the amusement park of life and as a "first-gen" you can rely on yourself to do what it takes to get in line for all the great rides once you get in. 
  6. Imposter syndrome/ phenomena (i.e. always feeling like you're a fake and everyone else knows what is going on and how to do it) is real. First-gens feel it particularly sharply sometimes. I know I did the first time I got verbally smacked for being "unprofessional" in my presentation of statistical analyses. I know my suits were cheap and my shoes weren't shiny and there were obvious bags under my eyes and doubt in my voice. What I did not know is that everyone feels this. Everyone. Even the professors mentoring you. Even your internship boss. Even the committee evaluating your grant applications. Even you, even after your degree and decades of experience, will likely still feel like you are faking it. I learned to embrace that feeling...I'm faking it every day, so I can go in and learn more and fake it even better tomorrow. I just wish I'd embraced that idea more at the start of my doctoral degree. There is great freedom in embracing the knowledge that failure is required to grow...it takes a great deal of fear and pain out of the process.
You may already know all these things if you're a first-gen going for a Ph.D. I hope you do, but I wanted to spell them out for those that don't because I wish someone had been able to for me. One final note, if you're muscling your way through a Ph.D., good luck, God speed (but not too much speed), and congratulations!
The Fancy Ph.D. Robes!


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