My ADHD and how I discovered I my Superpowers

 I was diagnosed in college, almost by accident, because I volunteered to be a test patient for graduate students in clinical psychology who were trying to learn to give intelligence tests well. One of these noticed that despite testing well (and being a 4.0 student) I hummed, fidgeted, zoned out, and missed easy details on various parts of the test. He recommended I go to a practicing clinician who specialized in ADHD and get assessed. I laughed. At the time, only young boys who were troubled in school were typically diagnosed with ADHD. I was 20 years old, graduated high school summa cum laude, had kept an academic scholarship for two years already, and sat (relatively still) through 3-hour college classes. I wasn't disorganized (my less-than-organized roomies all relied on me to clean and put all of our things away). So what if I hummed, fidgeted, relied on speed reading, and got incredibly bored by doing the same thing twice? 

But two months after that kind recommendation to get assessed, I got an antibiotic-resistant upper respiratory infection and my physician asked me how much I was sleeping on average. Five hours on a good night, three hours on a standard night. At first, my physician assumed this shortened sleep period was the tipping point for my infection, but then he caught himself and asked if that was just lately or always. Always. I read books in bed in elementary school so I could stay in bed while the rest of my family slept without getting in trouble. I couldn't usually sleep more than five hours even if I was tired and stayed in bed for 12 hours (unless of course, I stayed up for 3 days, then I could sleep 12 hours). Kudos to my physician for not just prescribing me anxiety or sleep medication as so many do. Instead, he told me to go see a clinical psychologist to see if it was insomnia produced by anxiety or something else entirely that he as a family physician was not trained to assess.

Again, I got lucky that the clinical psychologist I made an appointment with took the time to really ask why I was there--so that I confided both the graduate student's and my physician's rationale for recommending assessment. So many healthcare professionals are too pressed for time to do such a good initial patient exam, let alone build a holistic understanding of the problem from those details. There were many things to parse out, after all, I was 20 years old and who has their life together at that age? But one of the key things that I learned is that I did exhibit many of the symptoms of both hyperactivity and inattention (or difficulty focusing) (aka ADHD). I just didn't exhibit them in the ways that most people talk about (even today). My psychologist posited that this was because I was also "Gifted and Talented" (which at the time just meant an IQ over 120) and used those gifts to compensate for my symptoms - which messed with their appearance. I didn't get out of my seat in the classroom, instead, I doodled non-stop and bounced my leg up and down like a piston about to blow. I made a ton of mistakes filling out forms, writing papers, etc. because of my inability to pay attention to details, but I got things done early and recruited editors to help me fix them before I turned them in (the only C I ever made was in spelling because no editors were allowed!). I lost things for necessary tasks all the time, so I compensated by making task stations where the tools to do something were in visible piles and I didn't have to remember where I left them. I had difficulty waiting my turn, so I avoided situations where I had to wait or went earlier or later than the crowd. But...

There were things I couldn't think my way around or compensate for on my own without knowing more about ADHD, like sleeping enough or noticing that I was taking over someone else's tasks or interrupting them in my enthusiasm or realizing how emotionally labile I could be in relationships. I was horrified. ADHD was considered a "mental illness." This something would always be "wrong" with me. No wonder I felt abnormal all the time. But my young, idealistic, psychologist challenged me to also think about how ADHD could make my life even better. How could knowing I had these symptoms and why be used to help engineer my life to fit me better? What boundaries were now obvious? What limits could I stop wasting time fighting, accept and just forget now? What was different about someone with ADHD that I could use to my advantage, knowing someone else without it wouldn't think of that thing that way? In other words, what superpowers did ADHD grant me?

This was decades before the concept of Neurodiversity made it into Youtube Vlogs. Decades before studies on entrepreneurs like Steve Jobs, Charles Schwab, Sir Richard Branton, etc. chronicled how their ADHD enabled them. Decades before research validated that other symptoms of ADHD also often included exceptional creativity, multi-tasking, risk-taking, high energy, chaos tolerance, and resilience. In many ways, I was lucky that someone who cared about me was smart enough to ask those questions about how my neurodiversity could be both a beneficial limiter and a unique levererager in my life. I know many people are not near so lucky, and that is why I am writing this. I don't normally tell people this story, but I realize there is great power in being vulnerable and authentic about my experience. Maybe just sharing it can help others ask these questions. You don't necessarily need a psychologist, or a parent, or a friend to be kind enough to ask them. I can (and do still) ask them of myself. It's hard work, and uncomfortable, and sure it's better with a friend...but it still pays loads of return in my health, happiness, relationships, and performance.

I often make bullet lists. 

• ADHD Limiter: I hate watching TV (too slow, not active) - who needs it, I can just accept that I like books better instead because I can imagine everything myself at what speed I like. 
• ADHD Leverager: I have a great imagination. 99% of the population probably isn't imagining it that way, even screenwriters, and my family will probably find that is a really interesting conversation starter at dinner tonight.

Usually, this also helps me to think about new ways of compensating or working around a limiter when I want to. For example, my wife likes to watch TV with me, but I hate TV. She is okay if I draw while we watch TV together. I can stop drawing to watch the interesting parts or to talk with her about them, without losing my place.

Do you have an anomaly in mental functioning too? How does knowing this and its limits help you engineer your life to fit you better? And even more important, what superpowers does it give you? I'm asking for so many friends, myself included.

Our complexities, and ability to appreciate complexities (like the complex eye), make us beautiful.