In no particular order, these are seven magic questions you should ask your date early on.* What is most important to you?
* Who are the most important people in your life?
* What inspires you to get out of bed every morning?
* What are you good at?
* What do you wish you were better at?
* How do you prefer to spend your time?
* What are your philosophies?
To make the seven questions work, the person asking has to listen more than talk.
What are you listening for?
- Does s/he ask you questions in return or prompt you to talk about yourself? Is s/he as interested as s/he is interesting?
- Is s/he open to answering all your questions? Shy is okay, but deflecting your attempts at conversation or too many signs of uneasiness definitely means this person isn't in a good place to have a serious relationship.
- Is s/he too open about wounds, baggage, and being in need of a therapist or fixer? If the conversation becomes a rundown of how awful things are or how s/he has so much to work through, then (again) s/he isn't ready for a serious relationship right now. (No matter how wonderful a person s/he is!).
- Does s/he use self-deprecating humor? Give any signs s/he is capable of laughing at absurdities in the world? Give credit and praise to others?
- Are your answers compatible or complimentary? Can you see him/her helping you grow into a better person?
- After listening to all these answers, do you want to know more? Is the feeling mutual?